I hope you understand. I miss you terribly, but i know in my heart that you would not want me to stop my life on your account. So even though my heart aches, and i feel terrible inside, i can't grieve yet. So for now i will hold it all inside. My heart is torn, and the tears are aching to flow. but i can't cry, not yet. my dear friend...i dont know what to do. but i know you want me to keep living. i pray for you, that on judgment day you will be allowed inside.
i cant cry yet. i hope you understand...